I hope this does not sound superficial. I like seeing your photo. I feel this writing is so personal that you are talking to me. And if we were in person I would’ve looking at you. So in my mind I now get to look at you during these conversations. Thank you for that. And thank you for sharing these experiences. I have spent many years as a white woman trying to unwind the racism I was born into. It lives in the body. So it takes hundreds maybe thousands of instances of encountering what is in me that I did not ask for but now have. And your experiences help unwind that learning. Yes it can be uncomfortable but so what. Sometimes learning is. So please listen to the positive ones here that get what you are doing. And hope the negative ones may some day find a crack that can begin to let in the light.
Thanks for your message Donna. I think a lot of racism stems from not knowing the other. When we do get to know the other, we realize that there are so many similarities we share as human beings. Black people have been dehumanized in racists contexts. A lot of my work aims to humanize us.
The audacity and privilege of some people. I feel so irritated and annoyed for you that you had to experience receiving such messages. As a black woman I enjoy reading content that I can relate to and understand what you have experienced.
Dear Athina, this is also why I continue to write. Many Black women write to me to say they relate to my stories. I want to make sure our stories get out into the world because our lives and our mental health matters too.
Thank you for sharing your experiences through this blog. As a Black woman, I see myself in most posts that you write, especially regarding the workplace and the micro aggressions you’ve received. Please do continue!
Thanks so much for reading my work. I’m so grateful we now have platforms where we can speak our truth. Our foremothers and fathers just had to suffer and keep quiet. Social media has its faults but for me, for us, it finally gives us a voice, finally.
Rebecca, thank you for your honesty and sharing your experiences with the world. We need more voices to speak their truths. That is the only way we are going to create a community that respects all people. Keep shining a light on ignorance and racism.
Nobody realises that what you are doing here is a lot on yourself. Talk about such distateful experiences is racism is actually showing your vulnerability. I am not surprised by this type of attitude because what a lot of people don't realise is that allyship comes with being uncomfortable because it reveals that you are part of the issue and that you harbor racist thoughts. Allyship is a constant work on oneself, that's what many people don't realise. This person is that type of person, they are not ready to do the work on themselves yet.
Thank you always for the work you are doing and happy holidays!
You are so absolutely right with your analysis of this. And this: “Allyship is a constant work on oneself”, is something this person clearly doesn’t want to do. But as I’m sure you can imagine, this person will not deter my resolve to continue writing about my experiences. I’ve waited this long to finally be able to speak, and I’m not backing down anytime soon. Thanks for you support and thanks for reading my work.
Like Iyanla Vanzant says, " you have to do the work of tearing down assumptions and ill intent to replace it with clarity of thought to decide to do right by others and yourself. Some people can't or won't do the work. It's too hard or they aren't ready. They need to be quiet and listen...sometimes for a long time.
SUCH a valuable addition to this conversation Emmanuelle! Thank you! More of us need to learn the challenge and obligation that is “ally-ship.” And how much true reward, to one’s Soul, that can be gained by a never-ending evolution toward a more effective form of ally-ship. I’m so glad you called that out in this context.
Wow! One of the reasons I subscribe to your blog IS to feel uncomfortable! That's when I learn. Your lived experience is hard to read about, but the fact that I have to read about it points to my own (unearned) privilege. Thank you for your courage, your honesty and your fortitude. May we experience a better world sometime in our lifetime.
She signed off because she was uncomfortable? She should spend a day in the shoes of a Black woman. When a person lives their life trying to hold on to a lie, the truth is uncomfortable.
I admire your courage and willingness to share with the hope we can all be better humans!
Thanks so much for your kind words Yvonne. I fully agree with you. She recognized herself in my stories and tried to antagonize me. All my paid subscribers can reach out to me for a 1:1 conversation whenever they wish. She didn’t chose that much more productive route to engage. That tells me all I need to know about her.
You are planting seeds each time someone disagrees with or made uncomfortable by your words. A seed is sacrificed to grow into a plant or a tree. Watch your garden grow!
Rebecca, I am grateful to you for sharing your lived experience. It's often uncomfortable reading for me, as I wonder how my own white aspect impacts my own thought processes and actions in ways that hurt POC. My discomfort is a necessary component to my learning, not just so I can learn to root out my own racism, but so that I move forward every day recognising it, calling it out and "doing better". Thank you for sharing your perspective. Kerri
Thanks for reading my work Kerri and thanks for being so candid about how it makes you uncomfortable. As you say, it’s a necessary component that enables you to learn. I am also a learner in other areas, and the more something makes me feel uncomfortable, the more I force myself to understand and see things from another perspective. That’s the only way one grows in life. Thanks for reading my work.
Whatever happens Rebecca, feel free to write your truths and if anyone feels uncomfortable reading about your experiences they should check themselves because freedom and the changing time permits you to express yourself as an author.
Continue to enjoy the Christmas season and wishing you a successful New Year!
I fully agree with you. I’m so grateful we live in a world where all these platforms allow people to speak about their experiences. Thanks so much for reading my work.
We need to feel uncomfortable! There will be no change if people are not made to feel the pain of racism and thus be motivated to change. I am sure it is not comfortable to write about and relive your experiences either. If your writing made the reader feel comfortable, then that means it was good writing and you made an impact, and you did what you are setting out to do. Keep it coming!
Thank you. This is exactly as you say "There will no change if people are not made to feel the pain of racism and thus be motivated to change". I couldn’t have said it better.
It's too bad she feels it's appropriate to punish you for writing about your lived experiences. Perhaps as she apparently will continue to read your thoughts now and then, she "may" learn something. Seems to me she has not learned anything so far. I am learning a lot from you, and I know you will continue to write true to your experiences, as I try to do, also.
It’s interesting. While reading your comment I realized something. Living through racism is a punishment in and of itself, and this reader also decides to punish me for writing about these experience. So, a double punishment at the end of the day. Life can be cruel indeed.
Yes. She's really messed up inside of herself too. I wonder if part of her realies that. I wonder why she subscribed in the first place. But her cruelty in punishing you with her behavior and words, and not just unsubscribing, indicates to me that something is wrong with her deep inside. I hope she works on that to figure it out.
..... Not that you’d stop publishing because you lost one paid subscriber, but because I’m reactively jerking my knee by taking out a paid subscription. Let me know when next i can lend farcical drama to your blog and I will happily take out another.
Thanks so much for your knee jerk reaction amazing lady. This subscriber want to wack me where it hurts and diminish the small revenue I make here. She doesn’t realize how many people have tried that same trick and been unsuccessful. I’m not giving up on writing about racism for as long as I am a victim of it. Thanks so much for your incredible support.
I hope this does not sound superficial. I like seeing your photo. I feel this writing is so personal that you are talking to me. And if we were in person I would’ve looking at you. So in my mind I now get to look at you during these conversations. Thank you for that. And thank you for sharing these experiences. I have spent many years as a white woman trying to unwind the racism I was born into. It lives in the body. So it takes hundreds maybe thousands of instances of encountering what is in me that I did not ask for but now have. And your experiences help unwind that learning. Yes it can be uncomfortable but so what. Sometimes learning is. So please listen to the positive ones here that get what you are doing. And hope the negative ones may some day find a crack that can begin to let in the light.
Thanks for your message Donna. I think a lot of racism stems from not knowing the other. When we do get to know the other, we realize that there are so many similarities we share as human beings. Black people have been dehumanized in racists contexts. A lot of my work aims to humanize us.
So well said Donna, thank you.
The audacity and privilege of some people. I feel so irritated and annoyed for you that you had to experience receiving such messages. As a black woman I enjoy reading content that I can relate to and understand what you have experienced.
Dear Athina, this is also why I continue to write. Many Black women write to me to say they relate to my stories. I want to make sure our stories get out into the world because our lives and our mental health matters too.
Thank you for sharing your experiences through this blog. As a Black woman, I see myself in most posts that you write, especially regarding the workplace and the micro aggressions you’ve received. Please do continue!
Thanks so much for reading my work. I’m so grateful we now have platforms where we can speak our truth. Our foremothers and fathers just had to suffer and keep quiet. Social media has its faults but for me, for us, it finally gives us a voice, finally.
Rebecca, thank you for your honesty and sharing your experiences with the world. We need more voices to speak their truths. That is the only way we are going to create a community that respects all people. Keep shining a light on ignorance and racism.
Thank you so much for your kinds words. I will continue to write for sure.
I read you so I can learn how to keep avoiding being a racist. You're a big help that way.
Thanks so much David, I appreciate you reading my work.
Nobody realises that what you are doing here is a lot on yourself. Talk about such distateful experiences is racism is actually showing your vulnerability. I am not surprised by this type of attitude because what a lot of people don't realise is that allyship comes with being uncomfortable because it reveals that you are part of the issue and that you harbor racist thoughts. Allyship is a constant work on oneself, that's what many people don't realise. This person is that type of person, they are not ready to do the work on themselves yet.
Thank you always for the work you are doing and happy holidays!
You are so absolutely right with your analysis of this. And this: “Allyship is a constant work on oneself”, is something this person clearly doesn’t want to do. But as I’m sure you can imagine, this person will not deter my resolve to continue writing about my experiences. I’ve waited this long to finally be able to speak, and I’m not backing down anytime soon. Thanks for you support and thanks for reading my work.
Like Iyanla Vanzant says, " you have to do the work of tearing down assumptions and ill intent to replace it with clarity of thought to decide to do right by others and yourself. Some people can't or won't do the work. It's too hard or they aren't ready. They need to be quiet and listen...sometimes for a long time.
SUCH a valuable addition to this conversation Emmanuelle! Thank you! More of us need to learn the challenge and obligation that is “ally-ship.” And how much true reward, to one’s Soul, that can be gained by a never-ending evolution toward a more effective form of ally-ship. I’m so glad you called that out in this context.
Wow! One of the reasons I subscribe to your blog IS to feel uncomfortable! That's when I learn. Your lived experience is hard to read about, but the fact that I have to read about it points to my own (unearned) privilege. Thank you for your courage, your honesty and your fortitude. May we experience a better world sometime in our lifetime.
Amen. Yes, amen.
Thanks for your feedback Lynda. I’m glad that even though some of my work makes you feel uncomfortable, you still continue to read and learn from it.
She signed off because she was uncomfortable? She should spend a day in the shoes of a Black woman. When a person lives their life trying to hold on to a lie, the truth is uncomfortable.
I admire your courage and willingness to share with the hope we can all be better humans!
Thanks so much for your kind words Yvonne. I fully agree with you. She recognized herself in my stories and tried to antagonize me. All my paid subscribers can reach out to me for a 1:1 conversation whenever they wish. She didn’t chose that much more productive route to engage. That tells me all I need to know about her.
#WhayYouSaid
You are planting seeds each time someone disagrees with or made uncomfortable by your words. A seed is sacrificed to grow into a plant or a tree. Watch your garden grow!
I love that, thank you VERY much.
Amen.
Thank you for sharing and amplifying our continued struggles.
Thanks so much for your support. It means a lot to me.
Rebecca, I am grateful to you for sharing your lived experience. It's often uncomfortable reading for me, as I wonder how my own white aspect impacts my own thought processes and actions in ways that hurt POC. My discomfort is a necessary component to my learning, not just so I can learn to root out my own racism, but so that I move forward every day recognising it, calling it out and "doing better". Thank you for sharing your perspective. Kerri
Thanks for reading my work Kerri and thanks for being so candid about how it makes you uncomfortable. As you say, it’s a necessary component that enables you to learn. I am also a learner in other areas, and the more something makes me feel uncomfortable, the more I force myself to understand and see things from another perspective. That’s the only way one grows in life. Thanks for reading my work.
This. Easy doesn't change you!
Thank you for continuing your good work and not letting that misguided input affect your view of your world.
Thanks for reading and regularly commenting on my work.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, Rebecca. Thank you for all the work you do!
Thank you for reading my work and showing by your actions that it matters.
Whatever happens Rebecca, feel free to write your truths and if anyone feels uncomfortable reading about your experiences they should check themselves because freedom and the changing time permits you to express yourself as an author.
Continue to enjoy the Christmas season and wishing you a successful New Year!
I fully agree with you. I’m so grateful we live in a world where all these platforms allow people to speak about their experiences. Thanks so much for reading my work.
We need to feel uncomfortable! There will be no change if people are not made to feel the pain of racism and thus be motivated to change. I am sure it is not comfortable to write about and relive your experiences either. If your writing made the reader feel comfortable, then that means it was good writing and you made an impact, and you did what you are setting out to do. Keep it coming!
Thank you. This is exactly as you say "There will no change if people are not made to feel the pain of racism and thus be motivated to change". I couldn’t have said it better.
It's too bad she feels it's appropriate to punish you for writing about your lived experiences. Perhaps as she apparently will continue to read your thoughts now and then, she "may" learn something. Seems to me she has not learned anything so far. I am learning a lot from you, and I know you will continue to write true to your experiences, as I try to do, also.
It’s interesting. While reading your comment I realized something. Living through racism is a punishment in and of itself, and this reader also decides to punish me for writing about these experience. So, a double punishment at the end of the day. Life can be cruel indeed.
Yes. She's really messed up inside of herself too. I wonder if part of her realies that. I wonder why she subscribed in the first place. But her cruelty in punishing you with her behavior and words, and not just unsubscribing, indicates to me that something is wrong with her deep inside. I hope she works on that to figure it out.
I hope 5 more people decide to replace the one.
..... Not that you’d stop publishing because you lost one paid subscriber, but because I’m reactively jerking my knee by taking out a paid subscription. Let me know when next i can lend farcical drama to your blog and I will happily take out another.
Thanks so much for your knee jerk reaction amazing lady. This subscriber want to wack me where it hurts and diminish the small revenue I make here. She doesn’t realize how many people have tried that same trick and been unsuccessful. I’m not giving up on writing about racism for as long as I am a victim of it. Thanks so much for your incredible support.