Wow, this really resonates with me! My biracial son was working on the boardwalk, rode his bike to and from work. He was confronted by a ww about his bike. She said he son’s bike was stolen and his bike looked exactly like her son’s. She called the police. The officer that showed up knew my son well, played basketball with my son and friends all the time. He laughed at her and said, “lady, this kid is the last kid that ever would steal a bike!” She demanded he produce a receipt! Guess what? Mama had it! When I got the call I was so mad but so happy I could shove that receipt right down her throat. Don’t come to vacation down her and accuse our kids of stealing! Ugh, take that racist crap back to your own town! 🤬
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s so frustrating to again see why we always need to keep those receipts no matter what. I am so glad you could “shove it down her throat”. I feel so vindicated for you!
I walked into a bookstore near work, with a paperback book in my hand, moseyed around, found nothing to buy, and walked out.
The cashier leaped from his cash register, vaulted out the door after me, and yelled, "EXCUSE ME, but do you have a receipt for that book?"
Slowly I turned and slowly I walked up to him. "I sure do," I said, calmly as I could, removing it from where it was serving as a bookmark and held it up.
"Thank you," the cashier said. "You know why I asked you this?"
"Yes," was all I said.
"Have a good day," he responded, and went back in.
To this day, that receipt is still serving as a book mark in "Carrying The Fire," by Gemini 10 and Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins. It's his memoir of his astronaut life. It's fascinating. But every time I pick the book up, I remember that face and that incident.
And how people of a different melanin content have to deal with it 50 times a day.
I think everyone should save their receipts! But I'm sorry and find it disturbing that you save yours for the reason that you do.
I love love love that you say you are hopeful for the day when the racial reckoning will have shifted society away from insidious racism, and that enough "interracial" relationships and mixed race babies will make it obsolete. It's so ridiculous and yet it so deeply hurts so many people.
The majority of the 8 billions souls who live on the planet are Black or brown. This puts into perspective the sheer amount of people that run the risk of being victims of racism. Things cannot possible continue the way they currently are.
Really appreciate your thinking here. As a white father of two black teenagers, I struggle with creating lessons for them which serve to protect them. This is one of them. In my white privileged, I am blind too often to the real challenges they face and will face.
Thanks for showing your vulnerability. I think that realizing you have white privilege is an excellent first step. This will enable you to listen to them, to more easily put yourself in their shoes and to make them aware of the lessons they need to learn.
I was on a company sponsored training in US in 2014.One time, I went shopping at a San Antonio mall with my fellow Nigerian friends. I was about to exit the mall when the electronic door raised an alarm against me.
What?
I was snitching away with the mall's luxuries unpaid for. Or so they taught.
Apparently, the white lady @ the checkout failed or forgot to deactivate the e-tag on one of the items I've already paid for.
"See, you were the one that checked me out and gave this change."
But she won't believe me. What saved me on that day was the printed receipt in the nylon bag carrying my purchased items. Otherwise, I would have been pronounced guilty as charged. Their police would have shackled and bundled me back to Nigeria. Maybe.
When I showed her my purchase receipt, she began apologizing.
I don't know if she did it to incriminate me for a crime I never commited.
You’ve touched on something that gives me major anxiety whenever I shop: the sales clerk that omits to remove the electronic tag, my shopping bag that rings when I exit the store and the security guard (often the white security guard), who eyes me like I have stolen something. It’s so traumatic. I’ve resorted to asking the sales clerk to make sure they’ve removed all tags. They feel I’m being too controlling when I do this. I guess that one can never win.
This is exactly why mom says don't take the tags off anf keep the receipt. I have followed that to a T. it's even better when they have digital receipts.
Recently, my mother who is darker than I am (I'm mixed race) and pretty much considered black in the U S. came to visit. We went to this high end store and one of the white workers there did exactly what you're describing Rebecca. She came over smiling hypocritically and asking whether we needed any help. I noticed that the white people there were not being asked that question. I just smiled back and said no thanks.
Sadly, I’ve been through this so often. When Black people complained of racism in stores, these stores developed this passive aggressive technique of training their stuff to hover around Black people. It’s psychological and often, when someone is hovering over you, you just want to leave. Stores want to sell right? So hovering is counterproductive isn’t it?
I’m a 66 year old white male attorney, but I can appreciate what you are saying even though I can only think of a few times in my life when I was asked to produce a receipt and they were all when I was younger. I’ve always been a bit paranoid that someone will challenge my ownership of what I own. I’m not sure why. Maybe because my parents and grandparents told me so many stories of living and growing up in the Depression or maybe because I had some stuff stolen over the years. Anyway, I actually save every receipt I receive by saving them online by year in a folder labeled receipts. So if a store emails me the receipt, I open up the file and immediately save it in my online receipt folder so I can produce at anytime by opening the folder on my phone. No one has asked me for a receipt in years, but I’m always ready to do so.
Wow, this really resonates with me! My biracial son was working on the boardwalk, rode his bike to and from work. He was confronted by a ww about his bike. She said he son’s bike was stolen and his bike looked exactly like her son’s. She called the police. The officer that showed up knew my son well, played basketball with my son and friends all the time. He laughed at her and said, “lady, this kid is the last kid that ever would steal a bike!” She demanded he produce a receipt! Guess what? Mama had it! When I got the call I was so mad but so happy I could shove that receipt right down her throat. Don’t come to vacation down her and accuse our kids of stealing! Ugh, take that racist crap back to your own town! 🤬
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s so frustrating to again see why we always need to keep those receipts no matter what. I am so glad you could “shove it down her throat”. I feel so vindicated for you!
I'm white, but I had to deal with this once.
I walked into a bookstore near work, with a paperback book in my hand, moseyed around, found nothing to buy, and walked out.
The cashier leaped from his cash register, vaulted out the door after me, and yelled, "EXCUSE ME, but do you have a receipt for that book?"
Slowly I turned and slowly I walked up to him. "I sure do," I said, calmly as I could, removing it from where it was serving as a bookmark and held it up.
"Thank you," the cashier said. "You know why I asked you this?"
"Yes," was all I said.
"Have a good day," he responded, and went back in.
To this day, that receipt is still serving as a book mark in "Carrying The Fire," by Gemini 10 and Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins. It's his memoir of his astronaut life. It's fascinating. But every time I pick the book up, I remember that face and that incident.
And how people of a different melanin content have to deal with it 50 times a day.
This is exactly it. The number of times we have to deal with this nonsense is exhausting.
I think everyone should save their receipts! But I'm sorry and find it disturbing that you save yours for the reason that you do.
I love love love that you say you are hopeful for the day when the racial reckoning will have shifted society away from insidious racism, and that enough "interracial" relationships and mixed race babies will make it obsolete. It's so ridiculous and yet it so deeply hurts so many people.
The majority of the 8 billions souls who live on the planet are Black or brown. This puts into perspective the sheer amount of people that run the risk of being victims of racism. Things cannot possible continue the way they currently are.
Really appreciate your thinking here. As a white father of two black teenagers, I struggle with creating lessons for them which serve to protect them. This is one of them. In my white privileged, I am blind too often to the real challenges they face and will face.
Thanks for showing your vulnerability. I think that realizing you have white privilege is an excellent first step. This will enable you to listen to them, to more easily put yourself in their shoes and to make them aware of the lessons they need to learn.
I was on a company sponsored training in US in 2014.One time, I went shopping at a San Antonio mall with my fellow Nigerian friends. I was about to exit the mall when the electronic door raised an alarm against me.
What?
I was snitching away with the mall's luxuries unpaid for. Or so they taught.
Apparently, the white lady @ the checkout failed or forgot to deactivate the e-tag on one of the items I've already paid for.
"See, you were the one that checked me out and gave this change."
But she won't believe me. What saved me on that day was the printed receipt in the nylon bag carrying my purchased items. Otherwise, I would have been pronounced guilty as charged. Their police would have shackled and bundled me back to Nigeria. Maybe.
When I showed her my purchase receipt, she began apologizing.
I don't know if she did it to incriminate me for a crime I never commited.
You’ve touched on something that gives me major anxiety whenever I shop: the sales clerk that omits to remove the electronic tag, my shopping bag that rings when I exit the store and the security guard (often the white security guard), who eyes me like I have stolen something. It’s so traumatic. I’ve resorted to asking the sales clerk to make sure they’ve removed all tags. They feel I’m being too controlling when I do this. I guess that one can never win.
This is exactly why mom says don't take the tags off anf keep the receipt. I have followed that to a T. it's even better when they have digital receipts.
Yeah, digital receipts, a great invention to avoid all this paper I have now stored.
You and me both. I always keep my receipts for quite some time.
😢🫂💕
Recently, my mother who is darker than I am (I'm mixed race) and pretty much considered black in the U S. came to visit. We went to this high end store and one of the white workers there did exactly what you're describing Rebecca. She came over smiling hypocritically and asking whether we needed any help. I noticed that the white people there were not being asked that question. I just smiled back and said no thanks.
Sadly, I’ve been through this so often. When Black people complained of racism in stores, these stores developed this passive aggressive technique of training their stuff to hover around Black people. It’s psychological and often, when someone is hovering over you, you just want to leave. Stores want to sell right? So hovering is counterproductive isn’t it?
It is. 🤷🏽♀️
Women do not throw away receipts.
I am a man who has observed this.
My daughter started at 2 1/2.
Probably not a bad habit ..but tedious
Imagine if your purchase was a while ago, and you can’t prove it is your property?! Land of the free my 🫏
I know it's comforting but, Drop the victim mentality.
So well said and oh so true! I love your idea of two friends of different ethnicities going into a high-end store and seeing reality!
I’m a 66 year old white male attorney, but I can appreciate what you are saying even though I can only think of a few times in my life when I was asked to produce a receipt and they were all when I was younger. I’ve always been a bit paranoid that someone will challenge my ownership of what I own. I’m not sure why. Maybe because my parents and grandparents told me so many stories of living and growing up in the Depression or maybe because I had some stuff stolen over the years. Anyway, I actually save every receipt I receive by saving them online by year in a folder labeled receipts. So if a store emails me the receipt, I open up the file and immediately save it in my online receipt folder so I can produce at anytime by opening the folder on my phone. No one has asked me for a receipt in years, but I’m always ready to do so.